My patient friends,
I know as you’ve all been sitting at home, nestled under a blanket as the days get ever shorter and colder, hoping and praying for a little extra daylight and the joy of Christmas, that there’s one thing above all which you’ve been waiting for:
My newsletter.
So fear not, it’s here, and all your worries and longings can subside. I have come as a herald of glad tidings from my first two months in Denver, and well wishes for this Christmas season.
Preparation
What are we doing at Creatio these days? Preparing. It’s going to be a very busy 2024, and Chris and Mary (our executive director and director of operations, respectively) want us missionary guides in shape physically, mentally, and of course spiritually to lead well on-trail next year. We got our trip schedules a couple of weeks ago, and I’ll be in the field for 100 days between March and October next year on the Camino de Chimayo in New Mexico, Camino de Santiago in Spain, in the Flat Tops wilderness back in Colorado, and a brief return to NY state for a few days walk to the North American Martyrs shrine. Quite a busy year.
To prepare for all this we’ve been doing weekly ascents of Mount Morrison, behind Red Rocks amphitheater, with full packs on each Tuesday morning. It’s been fun, conditioning our bodies and pushing each other to be better along the way so we’re physically and mentally capable for the many miles to come. One might think the same trail over and over again might get a bit dull, but it hasn’t, not yet. There’s beauty in repetition for the sake of a worthy goal.
Mission Life - Mission House
I’m not sure if I mentioned this in a newsletter before, but I’ve found myself living in a place called Mission House Denver. Actually, I was placed here as part of a collaboration between Creatio and Mission House. The idea behind the house is that while pockets of a healthy Catholic men’s culture do pop up organically on their own, whether amongst roommates or friends, they’re not always sustainable and often don’t have the structure to continue long-term. Mission House is a more structured version of that, providing a rule and rhythm of life for laymen in the world who want to live in intentional community with other men of the faith. I’m something of an assistant leader at the house. We pray the Divine Office together each day, have weekly household formation nights, and go on quarterly retreats in addition to everything else one might expect from a house of four men. It’s been great so far, especially after two years of living on my own in Syracuse. The combination of intentional living alongside life as a missionary has turned all of my life into a cohesive whole. There doesn’t seem to be a need for work/life “balance” when everything you do has one single vision and purpose, even if it’s lived out in different settings and situations throughout the week. My life, right now, is not a jumble of independent endeavours and concerns, it’s all one mission. That’s quite the blessing, though I admit it’s still early.
Retreat
This has been a season of retreat as well. I think there’s something inherent in preparation that requires retreat. In order to ready yourself for the next effort, the next fight, the next endeavor, you need to retreat back into something of a stronghold, a homeland whether physically or interiorly. Of course, that’s also worthwhile and sometimes essential in the midst of battle as well, but it has a place as a season in its own right. Winter, especially the quiet of November and darkness of December, is that season. Slow down, re-group, dive deeper, grow in prayer and wisdom, and emerge ready for more when the light returns in the new year. One might say it’s unnatural and wrong that we Americans seem to ramp up into a frenzy in December, and they’d be right, but if you think about it, we actually do that all year. You just don’t notice it until you reach the quiet of the year around the holidays (see “holy-days”).
I was blessed to go on two retreats these past two months. One with Creatio to pray with and discuss the foundations of our apostolate, and one with my roommates. Both were at the same hermitage in the foothills, a beautiful place called Regina Caeli tended by the Brothers of St John, and the second, with the household, was silent. I’d never been on a silent retreat before, and now having done one I wish I could do it every month. We were silent, except for group prayers, for 48 hours, and if it were up to me it would’ve been twice as long. It’s amazing the interior space that opens up when you leave the noise of the world behind and cease to make your own noise as well. God speaks us to in silence, creation lives and grows in silence, and our hearts want silence no matter how much we drown it in noise. I have been rather frustrated with the noise of the world lately and my inability to contribute to it (which is an odd desire, when you think about it), and this retreat was a welcome opportunity to allow God to speak on that.
What’s Next
Oh man, where to start? There are lots of things coming up in the new year.
The Creatio team will be continuing our pre-season prep with a training excursion in Arizona’s Superstition Wilderness. I’ve never backpacked in the desert before, so it should be a fun week in the backcountry nailing down our skills.
My roommates and I, as well as a few other friends, will be starting Exodus 90 on January 1st and finishing it on Easter, ninety days later. If you’re not familiar with Exodus, it’s essentially a formation program for Catholic men where you take on various ascetical disciplines like cold showers, limited media consumption, and fasting together as a group to help each other break free from vices and grow in virtue. It’ll be tough, but I’ve been interested in taking on the challenge for a while now so I’m excited to see how it goes.
Connected to that, I think I will also be taking a hiatus from social media for those ninety days. I’ve been quite frustrated with my relationship with those platforms lately, specifically as a photographer, and I’d rather have the mental and spiritual space to build a foundation as a missionary guide than spend my days worrying about engagement numbers on Instagram. It’s hard to deepen our prayer life with so much noise, and I’ve grown increasingly aware that while some seem to be able to do so, I cannot. More on this later though, if it’s the path I take.
Thank you all for your prayers and support, as always. I live this life of prayer and mission on your love and generosity, and I try to do my best with what you’ve each given me (materially or otherwise) every single day.
Have a Merry Christmas, my friends! Enjoy every second of it, for our Savior was born and the world is forever changed. Spend time in prayer, with family, eating good food (this is a feast after all), serving the poor if you can, and contemplating the mystery of the Incarnation. This is one of the best times of the year, so don’t waste it worrying. This is a time for joy.
Always and faithfully, and merrily too,
-Ryan
Merry Christmas! Wishing you & your family all the best — especially for your upcoming travels, retreats & missions.
and: we need a Silent Retreat, thank you for the reminder.